Virginity has always been a sensitive issue among some cultures, including the Iranian one.
As an Iranian girl, I remember hearing many times, here and there, that “a girl’s virginity is the most important treasure she has, and it has to be saved for marriage”. Having a sexual affair for non-married girls is considered a shameful behavior and is frowned upon by the society. Moreover, not only is it a sinful behavior, according to Islam, but also a crime, according to the Iranian laws. Hence, by law, those unmarried girls who are found out to have had sexual affairs deserve severe punishments.
However, like everyone else in the world, Iranian girls are also curious about the mysteries of sex and long to find out what all the fuss is about.
During high school I heard stories about a couple of girls having sexual relationships with their boyfriends. They had become the black sheep of the whole school. Some girls would avoid them, feeling shameful to even talk to them, and some, on the other hand, would try to get close to them to find out more about their mysterious relationships.
When I entered university I heard more similar stories. There were more and more girls talking about their relationships with their boyfriends; all in secret, of course.
Interestingly, the concept of virginity has a different meaning in the Iranian culture than the Western one. In the Western sense, virginity and hymen are two separate concepts. A virgin is a woman “who has never had a sexual intercourse”; a girl may lose her hymen doing physical activities, but she only loses her virginity once she has an intercourse for the first time. In the Iranian culture, though, hymen, which is literally translated as ‘virginity-membrane’, is recognized as the symbol of virginity.
As a result of the same culture, many of those girls who confessed about their affairs would, at the same time, claim to still be a virgin! And once asked how that was possible, they all had one same answer- “My hymen is elastic; it is unbreakable”, they would boast. ( Eventhough I have not managed to find a clear academic explanation for it, I know that the theory exists in the Iranian culture and is used by the Iranian gynecologists).
There were also girls who felt brave enough to confess to losing their virginity. However, none had forgotten that in order to be able to get married they had to be virgin again. It appeared that the solution was in the hands of the gynecologists. Apparently, a simple but pricey surgical operation, a few days before the wedding day, could make the girls’ dream of being a virgin bride come true. The operation is known as hymen restoration or “hymenoplasty”. It takes place in the doctors’ private clinics and with much caution, as it is not approved by the Iranian medical association and is considered illegal. (I must also add that Iran is not the only country where the girls undergo such an operation; apparently it exists in some Arabic societies, and also in Korea, according to Wikipedia).
The operation sounds to me like killing three birds with one stone-the girls would manage to get married with no embarrassment, the boys would finally meet their dream girls, who, unlike their past girlfriends, are rare and intact, and the doctors would make a fortune!
When i was in Lebanon in the mid 90’s doing TV commercials, I found an interesting thing amongst the middle class Westernized Maronites.
The single women no matter how old and jaded, were considered as honorary virgins and they would drive 30 miles out of town to buy tampons, as these could not be used by a real virgin.
The Shia women on the other hand suffered from no such hypocrisy. The non-virgin minority were known to be so by everyone and as such could come and go as they pleased. They were a vital link to the big cities for the rural families.
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